Open Mic

Do people still go out for open-mic nights? Cafes and bars. Music and poetry. Political speakers? Is there such a thing as an open mic for politics? The idea of people listening to someone else riff about politics where they don’t already know exactly what that person is going to say is sort of novel. No — not novel — fundamentally undesirable.

The posts below are all well over a decade old. Written in (what reads to older me as having) a very weird tone. Probably it was just echoing other sports blogs. A jotting down of fun conversations with friends, aside from work. You don’t think at that time: ‘In ten years I’ll speak differently. Write differently. Think differently.’ Age, yeah, but more: sensibility. A culture change. Like old yogurt.

How much of confidence is ignorance? I remember someone next to me in a high school chemistry class writing an idealistic note on her desk, and the next time we had class, someone had written back obscenities about wanting to beat the author of that note to a bloody pulp. Clearly someone else sat at that desk, during the day, read that hopeful missive, and was fundamentally pissed off by it. Or the idealism of it just disgusted that person to feel they had to write back their desire to inflict violence on the author. That or it sounded like something funny to them.

“I’ll show you the life of the mind!” John Goodman’s character is yelling in Barton Fink. Go get Joe Pesci’s shinebox. The provocation of strangers that comes from scribbling on a desk or speaking something into an open mic. Poetry to boot in face.

STRANGEST. NFL. SEASON. EVER.

Well, we’re just a few weeks in, and already this ranks among the oddest I’ve seen in 30 years. Yes, that takes back to 1980, and there have been some mighty odd occurrences. But let’s look at some of the truly unusual things that have transpired in this season already:

-No undefeated teams, 4 weeks in. Yes, this is very weird. Just last year we had two running to the wire fifteen weeks in, and arguably the Colts gave up on their chances at being undefeated by benching their starters the second-to-last-game. Yet this year, with the Bears showing their average-ness by getting punched out on Sunday Night Football by the (previously punchless) Giants, and with the almost completely offense-less Chiefs (who not even the most delusional homer would tell you is the league’s best team) gave up their perfect start this last week. From here? Who knows… but the odds are high we’ll see parity the whole way from here.

-A future Hall of Famer who made one of the best highlight catches of the season to date, Randy Moss, is dealt four weeks in, for little. A third pick? A fourth? I wrote  a post blasting the Bills for finally moving Lynch for string and bottlecaps, yet the PATRIOTS, the super-franchise, organizationally, just did a similar thing…

-Wait, there’s more! Moss and Brady had a fight about ong hair and backwoods beards? Yes, supposedly they did, prior to the trade…

-Wait, there’s more! The Patriots gave back a 4th round pick for DEION BRANCH? What? I didn’t realize he was even still in the league…?

-The Jets are FAR better than the Giants… not just more sexy and more sensational (what they often aim for) — but also better at running, blocking and better at defense. Soup to nuts, they’re tougher, more serious, and better at pure football. This alone makes this one of the stranger seasons in history..

QB MADNESS:

-The quick hook is thriving in the NFL this season. Has there ever been a year with more sudden, wacky starter changes? Why have all these OTAs, mini-camps, pre-season games — running for month after month — if you’re going to change your starter so suddenly? Tension between coaches and GMs? Desperation? Off the top of my head you’ve got Trent Edwards yanked for Fitzpatrick (and then, suddenly, CUT!), Matt Moore yanked for Jimmy Clausen (a rookie no one wanted, come draft Sunday), Delhomme/Wallace yanked for Colt McCoy, Kolb yanked for Vick, Jason Campbell for Bruce Gradkowski, Derek Anderson benched for (UNDRAFTED!) Max Hall… and this is just in the first FOUR WEEKS! What is going on? Usually fans have to weather six weeks, minimum, in even the worst of situations…

-Matt Leinart goes from future of the franchise to cut. And replaced by…?

-McNabb traded within the division. Plenty has been written about this, but this alone was one of the strangest things I’ve ever seen… consider what lengths the Packers did to move Favre out of conference and try (unsuccessfully) to ensure he stayed there. Perhaps the best QB in Eagles history is moved… to the REDSKINS?

-Wait, there’s more! Kevin Kolb, former second rounder who’s had his moments (but who we all keep hearing, from insiders, is THE guy), gets KOed in the first game, only to be replaced by a suddenly resurgent Vick, who saves what looks like a terrible season start for the Eagles…

-Wait, there’s more! Reid declares Kolb his man, to much sports talk rebuttal. But surprising? No. Typical in the NFL. They moved McNabb, after all, within the division! Yet where this becomes one of the strangest situations ever is when Reid backtracks and then suddenly, without apparent triggering incident, names Vick the starter. And both Kolb and Vick seem fine with it.

-Wait, there’s more! Vick is knocked out of his next game and Kolb replaces him and wins? WTF is going on? I don’t know, but it’s hurting my head!

-Roethlesdoubleburger

-Kyle Orton… yes, Kyle Orton is on pace to break Dan Marino’s single season yardage record. This is not a type-o…

-Meanwhile, the guy the Bears gave two firsts and Orton for,  QB Jay Cutler, is sacked 9 times in the first half against the Giants, but just continues to try to go deep, taking shot after shot. While he did have a concussion, supposedly, it happened later… I couldn’t help feeling during this game (one of the oddest and ugliest in an odd and ugly season) that Cutler was out of his mind…

-CONCUSSIONS, concussions! Everywhere! Just among QBs alone, we’ve got Matt Moore, Aaron Rogers, Jay Cutler, Kevin Kolb… already! Not to mention Stewart Bradley and Kevin Boss (just among those off the top of my head) in week 1…

NFL Power Rankings; Tuesday 10/5/10

It’s easy to knock power rankings out there. Prisco, for example, has Atlanta at number 2 this week, and the Steelers at 6. Why? Who knows. Time for Bear-down Sports to take our own pass… presenting the first of the weekly Bear-down sports NFL power rankings…

THE BEST:

1. Baltimore (3-1): Beat the Jets and Steelers and made both offenses look bad, while Flacco and co did enough. In this year of parity, that might be good enough.

2. NY Jets (3-1): Tale of 2 seasons after ugly start? Right now looking pretty damn complete, and flock of talented players coming back from injury…

3. Steelers (3-1): No QB? No problem. Complete team in parity year. If Roethlesgardenburger slides in and the team doesn’t miss a step, could easily vault to the top of this list. So why aren’t his teammates very excited?

VERY GOOD TEAMS:

4. NE Pats (3-1): Only lost to the Jets and cruised over Cincy and Miami — but this defense has some growing to do. For me, a step below the top 3, but they’re in good shape…

5. Saints (3-1): First NFC team on this list gets some credit for SB victory, because I’m not sold. They’re not as complete a team right now as most of those above them.But a lot of season to go, and a kick from 4-0…

6. Falcons (3-1): Losing to Pittsburgh close is no shame — but barely beating SF might be. A bit erratic is the watch-word for me, I’m not a ‘Matty Icecream’ convert just yet…

GOOD, BUT NEED IMPROVEMENT:

7. Packers (3-1): I reluctantly put them this high. Their corners are tough but slow, their running game is poor, and Rodgers isn’t quite the Dan Marino everyone’s crowned him to be — especially with games on the line. Vulnerable? Yes. But they have a lot of explosive talent here with guys like TE Finley and LB Matthews…

8. Eagles (2-2): No team in the NFL is harder to evaluate now IMHO — having lost to GB by 7 and the Skins, in the division, by just 5 in a squirrely game. Let me put it this way — with Vick and McCoy, I seat them here. Without either, or both, they fall into the ‘Middle.’ A solid team with strike capability.

NOT QUITE THERE:

9. Houston (3-1): Another team that feels shaky this high — but for years I’ve thought if the Texans learn how to run, look out! And they have. Cowboys loss is troubling, but Texas is a strange state, and the Boys needed that one bad. The Oakland win does nothing for me, but otherwise this team looks to be moving up in the world…

10. Indianapolis (2-2): Manning is Manning, and these guys are calm, cool vets I wouldn’t want to play in the postseason. But their defense is vulnerable. This is the weakest Colts team I’ve seen in years — playoffs? Maybe, but they can be had.

11. Miami (2-2): Nope. Not yet. They could easily deserve to be below, but this is a scrappy, irritating team I wouldn’t want to play twice a year. I’m not sold on Henne, but there’s a lot of team around him here (more all the time).

12. Cincy (2-2): Defense and scrappiness — and they get style points for their cast of characters — but something isn’t connecting here. If it all comes together, this team might be able to beat any one team in the league, but I don’t see consistency ever being a part of this club with these players…

MIDDLE OF THE PACK:

13. Washington (2-2): A team outscored 79- 73 and looking confused and challenged at times on offense and defense, the Skins have nevertheless taken care of business within their division so far, beating the Boys and Eagles. With new players and new coaches and new schemes, there is some reason to believe they will get better as the season goes on. Shanny wins some benefit there from me, certainly… but this is giving them a ‘mulligan’ on their Rams loss…

14. KC (3-0): I sit them this high in the middle because they’re 3-0. Period. Call it faith in new coordinators and a do-what-it-takes approach. They’ve beat SF, Cleveland and a vulnerable Chargers team, though, so I’m not convinced. If they can run, they can win. We’ll see.

15. Minnesota (1-2): This team is perhaps sitting too high at 15, but I just can’t sit them lower as long as they have their defense and Adrian Peterson making plays like he did in their last game. This ranking expects them to come out of their bye week with better QB-WR timing, and protection — and their defense can play, not having given up more than 14 in their 3 games so far. If Favre doesn’t play better, though, this team will sink. And fast.

16. Denver (2-2): Hit-and-miss, they beat Tennessee and Seattle, lost to Colts and Jags. Who are these guys? Middling, parity, blazing-Orton and constantly shifting identity… but they aren’t bad. If they can run, and show consistency, finishing smack middle of the NFL isn’t an exaggeration…

17. Tennessee (2-2): Schlacked the Giants, and lost to Denver and Pittsburgh, this team could go either way pretty easily. A brittle bunch? A core group? A good coach and a tough division… all point them to the middle…

18. Chicago (3-1): Bears humiliation on Sunday night may make this seating reek of ‘Homerism’ — but remember they handled Dallas in Dallas and the Packers on the strength of their special teams and defense. Last year they were 7-9 with Cutler setting team pick records — so he doesn’t have to shine for them to come out with 10 or 11 wins — he just can’t get hit every play trying to throw for 40 yard bombs. Running game is a wreck, admittedly…

19. Cowboys (1-2): America’s team has looked bad this season — with just the Houston, inter-state rivalry to show for the year. Can they turn it around? Just ask America’s sports writers — they already have.

20. NY Giants (2-2): Okay, they feasted on a bumbling Bears team on Sunday night. But otherwise this team only beat the hapless Panthers and the Titans roasted their nuts on an open fire… their defense came to life last game, but before that was outscored 55-85.

21. San Diego (2-2): These are the Chargers, so we all know they’ll start playing well later on. Right? But they’ve only beat Jacksonville and Arizona, and lost to Seattle and KC, and looked sloppy doing it.

BELOW AVERAGE:

22. Seattle (2-2): Who are these guys? It’s hard to get a sense of this team, up and down and all around — easily handling San Diego and SF, and then losing in Denver and to St. Louis. For me, this team could flop over to the Middle  — but my gut says they’re down here. By a nose. More energetic? Yes. Sloppy, too? I think so.

23. Arizona (2-2): Part of a 3 team worthless pack in the NFC West, the Cards have players in all phases, but they also have holes — and the personality and skills of guys like Warner and Dansby are huge losses. This team isn’t even average, at least from what I’ve seen…

24. Jacksonville (2-2): Probably overrated up this high, but so far, but they beat Denver and the Colts, and their losses are respectable (SD, Philly). If you look up ‘blah’ in the football dictionary, you see Garrard, MJD and Del Rio. Scottenheimer probably loves this team!

25. Tampa (2-1): Okay, they’re 2-1, but outscored 50-59 and they beat Cleveland and Carolina (see below). No, not there. Not even mediocre, but Freeman has shown some flashes.

26. St. Louis (2-2): Kind of the reverse of the Cards — the Rams overachieve to reach this place. Bradford has a lot of moxie, and more importantly, Jackson — and he’s saved Mark Clayton’s career. But this team is a few years from moving into a different category and cleaning up their issues…

27. San Francisco (0-4): For me, little separates this team from Tampa, Arizona and St. Louis (3 of whom in the worst division in football), except the fact they can’t win. While he doesn’t deserve all the blame, Smith isn’t the answer here, period. Singleterry’s staring to look like he’s not, either.

28. Oakland Raiders (1-3): Bumbling Raiders — what else can you say of trading for Campbell, anointing him the future and then benching him for Gradkowski so soon? Janikowski’s shanked short FG is just an example of how this team bumbles away great efforts. Might be close, but no. Not this year.

29. Detroit (0-4): Best of the winless teams? Nearly. WIth Best, Suh, Johnson, their QB coming back — this team isn’t that far from moving up. At least in this ‘Below Average’ crop of teams…

(STILL) PLAIN LOUSY:

30. Cleveland (1-3): Brownies have been in some games, and Hillis, Wallace and a scrappy defense can keep them clutching onto games until the end, when they usually lose barring a miscue from the other side.

31. Carolina (0-4): I don’t care who this team had last year, or the year before, or anything else — they suck. Not sure why they fell off so far during offseason, but they’re barely in games right now, and Clausen starting is early desperation…

OUTRIGHT, OFFENSIVELY TERRIBLE:

32. Buffalo (0-4): Bills do nothing well but run, and by platooning 3 ways, they’re screwing that up, too. Secondary and special teams were strengths with same players, but neither playing like it this year. Absolute derths at QB, OT and DL…

Bills Deal Marshawn Lynch to Seattle for Pack of Gum, Twine (NFL)

Dear God. It’s official today, that the Buffalo Bills, just ripped in a post about two hours ago, dealt their 2007 1st round pick and potential workhorse back Marshawn Lynch to the Seahawks for… (drum roll)…

Seattle’s 4th pick in 2011

Seattle’s 6th pick, or conditionally 5th pick, in 2012

Are you fricking KIDDING ME?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS TEAM? A lot of teams need a starting back — Green Bay, Philly and Seattle three among them — and all 89 year old ‘Yahoo’ Buddy Nix could wrangle out from these three teams (two with serious playoff aspirations) is a pair of mid-round picks on the draft’s second day (or third day, with the new format). Unbelievable.

First we learn there was trade interest in Trent Edwards in the offseason (who every single fan of the Bills and most non-Bills NFL fans could have told you was not the answer after being benched midway last year for his lifeless ineffectiveness) which the team shoved away, only to cut Edwards for nothing two weeks into the season, and now Lynch, who they had refused to trade up till now, is dealt for junk.

Also troubling is that ‘the Beast,’ as he’s nicknamed, has the power of the Bills 3 backs. Fred Jackson is a great story, but he’s a fast back with good hands, a lot like CJ Spiller. Why not deal Jackson? Or even Spiller? At least then you keep the kind of ‘thunder and lightning’ backfield that has been successful time and again in the NFL, with a pounder for short yardage and a slasher.

Instead… argh. I won’t even bother going on…

Instead, we should begin the Major League comparisons — perhaps this team is being scaled down so that the fans abandon them and Ralph Wilson can finally guarantee his right to relocate with some (however feeble) justification…